Posts tagged ‘sex’

July 8, 2008

Ironic Catch Phrase

So I was talking to a woman tonight while we were working on a very frustrating project, and she said about one of the contributors, “this work is so bad it sucks my dick!”.

Let’s imagine the first person who thought that something was so bad that it was as though their dick was sucked.

Right.

Only women say this.

Tags:
May 29, 2008

Joystick

Joystick Controller

When you look at it, it’s really no wonder it’s called a “joystick”.

I grew up spending long periods of time playing with this joystick.

And when I hit puberty, it was double trouble.

May 20, 2008

Trip to Thailand: The Real Story Please?

I’ve never been to Thailand, but I’ve heard the same stories you have about the sex trade there.

I’ve noticed that all the men I know who have gone to Thailand immediately cough up a purpose for their trip: they’re taking SCUBA classes, cooking classes, yoga, hiking.

Maybe they did go for these activities, maybe they didn’t.

Either way, it seems that telling someone about a trip to Thailand immediately necessitates justifying the trip with a non-sex purpose.

April 23, 2008

National “Imagine Everyone Around You Having Sex” Day

I really think this would be a great official holiday.

At some point, we all do it anyway, so why not have a day dedicated to imagining what the people around you would look like having sex?

It’s a kind of perverted form of people watching.

Today, for instance, I was sitting in a crepe place on California at Divisadero. I didn’t have anything interesting to read, so I started people watching.

But the people weren’t really doing anything, so I had to spice it up a bit.

“I wonder what she would look like having sex?” I thought of the 85 year old woman trying to eat soup with a shaky hand.

“Yuk, move on, move on!”.

I played this game for about 5 minutes and then the food arrived. But I had completely lost my appetite.

Don’t imagine random people having sex right before you eat.

But it’s fun to do – most people don’t really come across as sexual. You have to really work hard at it to see them in sex mode.

April 20, 2008

Great Gift Idea: Personal Lubricant

I like what About.com writes about “personal lubricant”:

“Personal lubricants are perhaps the greatest unsung sex toy. While it’s true that lubricant can be used to solve a sexual problem, like vaginal dryness, lube is much more than something to use only when you “need” it.”

The article continues to point out that lubricant can:

* Intensify and enhance sensations (for solo or partner sex)
* Change the way that sex feels
* Help you have sex longer
* Make safer sex safer by reducing the chances that a condom will break
* Eliminate pain associated with intercourse that comes from vaginal dryness
* Be essential for certain kinds of sex play, like using sex toys and exploring anal sex

I went into one of the otherwise seedy looking “toy” stores by my apartment in SOMA. Some lubricants are like $80 for a tiny bottle.

Every year I am always looking for that one gift I can buy everyone. The “one gift” idea is great because you buy a bunch of them, and if someone gives you a gift and you forgot to get them one, you just grab a gift from your bag of “one gifts” and voila, you’re covered.

And what better gift than truly expensive lubricant to enhance the pleasure of those you love?