Sacred Illusion

When she’s feeling her worst,
the only comfort she wants
is to be told everything will be OK.

I’ve learned to tell her this,
even though I know it’s a lie.

If I am ever beside her on her deathbed,
and I tell her that,
I fear she’ll leave this world with the realization
that the lifetime of comfort
that gave her a sacred sense of home,
was nothing but an illusion.

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Lightening Bugs

You can tell a true lover by the gifts they give.

When you only get them on occasions,
dutifully,
when millions of people probably got the same thing,

Love is coerced.

The true lover finds you gifts
randomly, accidentally;
the world is the gift shop
for a museum about you.

She brings them to you
in cupped hands,
like a child who has found a lightening bug.

The cuff-links you didn’t know you need,
the poet you love
who just wrote a new book,
a small notepad that fits in your pocket
because you love to write.

The occasion is always,
the reason is just because.

The gifts are the reflection of your presence
in your absence,
and you will never throw them away.

Past Tense

I speak of her in superlatives
that are tragically in the past tense.

When the wisdom you gain with age
illuminates only failure patterns you can’t break

When progress becomes finding flaws
that have no solutions

Faith becomes a suspicious option.

How ironic that the most sacred thing you are left with
is a spiritual investment that can only pay off when you’re dead,
and the superlatives about life
are always in the past tense.

The Question Again: Who is the Perfect Person for You?

While I was out for appetizers and drinks with some folks from work, the question that those of us who are single get popped up:

“Who is the perfect person for you?”

This is a difficult question to answer for numerous reasons.

First, define perfect. If I am still single, it might be because there is no perfect and I am unwilling to compromise (at this point).

Without the cynicism, I know one quality would be someone with a sense of astonishment for life. I don’t want to be with someone who goes through their days with a ho-hum, kind of bored, just grinding through life attitude.

That’s just one quality. Of course, then there are the physical attributes. Factor in all these high expectations, and you see why I am single after all of these years.

Maybe next time I am asked this question I’ll say, “I want someone as good as me.”

When is it hot vs creepy?

A woman I work with said something both insightful and funny.

To paraphrase her, she said something to the effect, “if the person is attractive, it’s not creepy.”

Her example was getting flowers at work.

The image crystallized in our minds. We laughed.

This could be misconstrued as a jab at people who are not attractive, but there was an underlying truth to the point.

If a stranger, or someone you don’t know well, makes an advance into your world, you size it up.

Perhaps unfairly, attractive people can get away with things that other people can’t without inducing a sense of creepiness.

Women My Age Are Too Old For Me

I have my 20th high school reunion in September. (Yea, I don’t look that old – it’s the facial cream.)

It’s going to be very weird going and seeing people twenty years later: the people I never talked to, the people who got really fat or bald or look really old.

But the weirdest thing of all is that it’ll be the first time I have been around the people I went to high school with wherein the women are now too old for me.

Sure, when I was 16, another 16 year old seemed like a good choice.

But at the age of 37, one of the many double-standards that favor men has become obvious: the women my age are too old for me.

I’m 37 and I still don’t know if I want kids. As far as I’m concerned, I have another five years to figure that out, maybe even more.

How many women have the luxury of being undecided at 37?

Also, if I date a 35 year old who wants kids, she is going to pressure me to move things along very fast.

That’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that for me, the perfect age is somewhere between 26 and 31, give or take a few years. This age bracket will remain my target for the next 25 years, which leads me to my next point…

There is, of course, the observation that it is far more common to see an older man with a much younger (and more attractive) woman than it is to see the opposite.

Exhibit A: Larry King and wife Shawn Southwick:

Sugar Daddy

So, are these young women at all attracted to the older guys? Because I would never want to have sex with the female version of Larry King.

When I think about how many more years I have before I really need to think about kids, men like Larry become role models.

(I’m adding this note based on the criticism I’ve gotten – please note that this was filed under “satire”).