Study Determines Bloggers are Better in Bed

A recent study of 500 people, 250 of whom were bloggers and 250 were not, determined that bloggers are ranked as “excellent in bed” by their significant others 32% more often than those who do not blog.

The study by Mike Kopp, an independent marketing consultant in San Francisco, took three months to complete.

“I did the study because my hypothesis was that bloggers would be judged as worse in bed. An ex-girlfriend of mine got obsessed with blogging, to the point where she would be up late at night doing it. It began to feel like her whole reality was just fodder for her blog. I blamed our lack of sex life on her blogging.”

Kopp, who is 39 and self describes himself as “a marketing geek, a data junky, and fantastic in the sack” used two interns from Cal Poly SLO to carry out the study.

“I was stunned that the results came back radically different than my prediction, so I had the intern re-poll 10% of the bloggers significant others to ask why.”

The answer came back: passion.

“What we found is that people blog because they are passionate about something. These are people who stick to their interests long after others have moved on to something else.”

Asked about alternative explanations for his ex-girlfriend’s lack of interest in sex with him, Kopp replied, “Well, I’m starting to think she didn’t lose interest in sex, she just lost interest in it with me. And I can’t understand that, because I’ve been having sex with myself since I was 13 and a day doesn’t go by that I am still not interested in doing myself.”

Kopp added that his next study will “determine whether interns are better in the sack.”


marriage & war: what are they good for?

I am in NYC staying with my good friend Dave.

Dave is a divorce attorney, and he’s very accomplished.

He represents an elite clientele, and his stories are fascinating.

Being an ethical lawyer (oxymoron?), he tells me stories without revealing names or divulging information that would be a breach of confidence.

He tells the stories in a round about way. He gives you the gist, the theme, the take away.

Dave doesn’t think his job is particularly interesting, which is peculiar to me because I am enthralled by his stories.

The characters are wealthy beyond belief. They are on top of the world, living a dream, and then all hell breaks loose.

Daytime soap operas aspire to have the drama that Dave must regularly extinguish.

Someone has an affair, is indicted on tax fraud, or the financial stakes are raised so high that families create wars amongst themselves.

An oil tycoon uncle dies and his vague will creates a feeding frenzy.

But the message I keep hearing is that the sacred marriage you thought you had is not quite so sacred when a lot of money or your legacy is on the line.

Ultimately, what I love about Dave’s stories are his conclusions.

You wouldn’t think a divorce attorney would be a champion of honesty, but Dave concludes his tales by noting where the characters departed from their personal honor.

Dave knows that his job begins when a wheel flies off someone’s moral axis, and he’d rather be in the business of tightening up the screws than picking up shrapnel.