What Eliot Spitzer’s Apology Should Have Said

< Note: This is filed under “satire” – I’ve realized I need to come right out and say this >

If I were Eliot, I would have told my wife, “listen honey, I really love you and I’m sorry I screwed the hooker. We’ll have some counseling, rent some porn, buy expensive lube, and get the kink happening again. In the meantime, I REALLY need you to come stand beside me as I apologize and try to explain myself to the public.”

Knowing people would want an explanation, I’d would have walked out to the podium holding her hand.

Then I would have stepped up to the mic, turned to my wife and said, “Exhibit A. Look at her…I mean, can you blame me for wanting a hot, 22 year old? Need I say more?”

eliot spitzer’s apology speech

One Comment

  1. You should read the essay on prostitution “A She-Savior” by the well-known Russian author Mikhail Armalinsky. It was published in Moscow edition of his Selected Works http://www.mipco.com/english/introVozn.html
    I will be happy to send you the text as attachment or here is the link: http://www.mipco.com/english/SheSavior.html

    The main idea of the essay “A She-Savior” is that the legalization of prostitution must be based on a return of its divine, sacred character, so that prostitution will be considered the most honorable profession, the one closest to God, the holiest.


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