Women My Age Are Too Old For Me

I have my 20th high school reunion in September. (Yea, I don’t look that old – it’s the facial cream.)

It’s going to be very weird going and seeing people twenty years later: the people I never talked to, the people who got really fat or bald or look really old.

But the weirdest thing of all is that it’ll be the first time I have been around the people I went to high school with wherein the women are now too old for me.

Sure, when I was 16, another 16 year old seemed like a good choice.

But at the age of 37, one of the many double-standards that favor men has become obvious: the women my age are too old for me.

I’m 37 and I still don’t know if I want kids. As far as I’m concerned, I have another five years to figure that out, maybe even more.

How many women have the luxury of being undecided at 37?

Also, if I date a 35 year old who wants kids, she is going to pressure me to move things along very fast.

That’s why I’ve come to the conclusion that for me, the perfect age is somewhere between 26 and 31, give or take a few years. This age bracket will remain my target for the next 25 years, which leads me to my next point…

There is, of course, the observation that it is far more common to see an older man with a much younger (and more attractive) woman than it is to see the opposite.

Exhibit A: Larry King and wife Shawn Southwick:

Sugar Daddy

So, are these young women at all attracted to the older guys? Because I would never want to have sex with the female version of Larry King.

When I think about how many more years I have before I really need to think about kids, men like Larry become role models.

(I’m adding this note based on the criticism I’ve gotten – please note that this was filed under “satire”).


  1. Tony Randall, at age 75, married a 25 year old women and had 2 children with her. Although he died 9 years later, leaving a widow and 2 fatherless children, his widow had nothing but nice things to say about him. While he had the reputation of being gay, no doubt due to his effeminate 50s roles and his prissy Felix Unger on the Odd Couple, he could be your new role model.

    Of course, older men like him and Larry king also have millions of dollars to afford younger spouses. Just ask Joan Collins, who married a guy 30 years younger than she. It can happen!


  2. The reason is that you are a pig. Ladies, note that picture and stay away from it.

    Serentripity, I can’t believe you put a picture of you in that hat as your icon. I don’t know what you have for that hat, but I promise you, it looks like you’re going fishing with your grandfather when you wear it.


  3. it is true that older men have the luxury of dating a younger woman, but i wouldn’t go too much younger…a man too much older is not very attractive to a younger woman unless she has daddy issues…and those will fade. also, once a man begins to sag and get old-looking himself, most women don’t like it if they are still hot.

    i don’t understand how men as old as larry king can get women that young and attractive. even with millions of dollars, i don’t think i could sleep with a man that much older.


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