I’m not sure if I am asked this question because I have been single for quite awhile, or whether it comes from curiosity, but it seems like I have been asked this a lot over the last year.
I think some people expect answers that either address physical attributes (tall, short, blond, brunette), race, age, or personality traits.
The answer I find myself saying, and it seems simultaneously very vague and specific, is an answer that also explains my choice in friends.
“They just get it,” I say.
Not having to define “it” is, perhaps, part of the test.
My closest friends are the ones I can cruise with in just about any situation.
I told my good friend Pistol that “I spend more and more time with fewer and fewer people.”
I’ve told those who ask “what kind of women” I like that I’ve always been content hanging out with myself. I’m not one to seek companionship to simply not be alone.
As strange as it may sound, I enjoy my company.
When I was in high school, I would go home from school everyday and go into the basement and play my guitar for hours.
I remember my father, who was a math teacher and therefore concerned about my education and resulting career, advising me, “you know, you might like science because you don’t have to be around people very much.”
But I like being around people. People who get it.
While I am not looking for a job, I am sometimes asked the all to common interview question, “where do you want to be in five years?”
The next time I am asked that, I am going to say, “even more in the present.”
I know, it sounds new agey.
A few years ago, my father (70 at the time) hurt his back.
He pointed out that the injury was one of the first he had experienced that was simply a fact of aging.
And he said that he wasn’t sure how to deal with it, because “he had never been this old before.”
Life only grants us the luxury of precedence for common problems, which is why being with people who “get it” is so important.
A compass is calibrated based upon past quests.
The only compass for the uncharted is the intuition that enables one to “get it”.