Obsessed With Script Writing (Again, At Long Last)

I spent the last four days working on my script about my brother.

The writing was done with sober determination, head’s down, with my friend Mike.

I’m about half way through the script (it’s a feature length film).

Mike and I played in a band together, and we have a lot of creative history together.

It’s difficult for me to steal time away from work for personal projects, but I keep reminding myself that time is slipping by and I need to make the most of every moment.

Ironically, or perhaps in perfect complementary fashion, Mike is writing a script about a predicament we have both found ourselves in.

Which is this:

You’ve had a creative aspiration all of your life.

But life has distracted you.

Maybe you are married with kids, or you are single and you work too much.

In either case, many years go by during which you are tired and too often choose not to steal moments to paint, write, or create. Instead, you drink wine or watch TV.

And then one day you wake up and realize your window of youthful opportunity is nearly shut.

It is a wakeup call.

What will you do?

That is the premise of Mike’s film.

Mike’s film is called, “Driven”.

It is the story of a guy who works at the YMCA.

I can’t tell you anything other than that.

Mike doesn’t want his idea swiped.

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Erogenous Jones: I Promise a Next Album Will Arrive

We recorded our EP over a year ago. (If you haven’t heard it, you can on the Erogenous Jones Website).We have all the songs for the next album ready to go, but the problem is…me.I just haven’t been practicing enough to want to go back into the studio. It’s kind of like training for a marathon. The last thing a musician wants is to be in a studio and find their voice pitchy or their guitar playing lacking confidence.I say, “lacking confidence” because the attitude that is attractive, if not hot, whether you are playing a guitar or walking down the street, is confidence.Confidence is very different than being cocky. Cocky is an insecure attempt at confidence. Confidence is just believing in yourself, and when you’ve done that long enough, you forget about it.I love confident people and people who have a sense of poetry.I don’t want to go into the studio with my playing lacking these two attributes.This week I promised myself that after work I would go home and really make myself work to get these qualities back into my playing.I started last night.Life is so much more enjoyable when you have a passion that you have to squeeze into your free time.And if you’re looking for San Francisco Recording Studios, you know where to go. 

Environmental Armegeddon: Real Estate Investments When Global Warming Hits Hard

We are all worried and anxious over the impending environmental Armegeddon.

However, there have got to be good investment opportunities as well.

I just sent the following email to my realtor, asking her to address the question in her upcoming San Francisco real estate newsletter.

“We all hear about the upcoming environmental Armageddon with flooded coastlines, water shortages, species loss, and longer and hotter heat waves.

I am wondering how I can turn this inevitable global tragedy into a golden investment opportunity. Where should I be buying land so that when human suffering is at its worst, my investments can command top dollar?”

Note: this is filed under “satire”.

Study Determines Bloggers are Better in Bed

A recent study of 500 people, 250 of whom were bloggers and 250 were not, determined that bloggers are ranked as “excellent in bed” by their significant others 32% more often than those who do not blog.

The study by Mike Kopp, an independent marketing consultant in San Francisco, took three months to complete.

“I did the study because my hypothesis was that bloggers would be judged as worse in bed. An ex-girlfriend of mine got obsessed with blogging, to the point where she would be up late at night doing it. It began to feel like her whole reality was just fodder for her blog. I blamed our lack of sex life on her blogging.”

Kopp, who is 39 and self describes himself as “a marketing geek, a data junky, and fantastic in the sack” used two interns from Cal Poly SLO to carry out the study.

“I was stunned that the results came back radically different than my prediction, so I had the intern re-poll 10% of the bloggers significant others to ask why.”

The answer came back: passion.

“What we found is that people blog because they are passionate about something. These are people who stick to their interests long after others have moved on to something else.”

Asked about alternative explanations for his ex-girlfriend’s lack of interest in sex with him, Kopp replied, “Well, I’m starting to think she didn’t lose interest in sex, she just lost interest in it with me. And I can’t understand that, because I’ve been having sex with myself since I was 13 and a day doesn’t go by that I am still not interested in doing myself.”

Kopp added that his next study will “determine whether interns are better in the sack.”

Day 10 in Self-Imposed Poverty Concludes

I just went shopping for food for the first time in several weeks.

When I say shopping, I mean, spent more than ~ $3.

It felt so good to be able to plan GOOD meals with scrumptious stuff, and not just buy the least amount of food to not starve.
Even in as little time as 10 days, I started getting conditioned.

Tonight, for instance, I walked through the cheese section at Whole Foods and looked at $12 cheddars from Scotland.  It felt perverse, actually, to even think of spending that kind of money after eating lentils and skipping meals.

Day 9 in Self-Imposed Poverty

So the weekend wasn’t nearly as painful as I had hoped.

My plan was to stay in and kind of get others to join me eating lentils and avoiding cover charges.
But my challenge didn’t appear attractive and on Saturday and Sunday night I ended up on a barstool with someone buying me drinks, which just made me feel like a mooch.

So I left off the story when I had $10.

But then Monday came about and I was starving so I bought a $5.50 burrito for breakfast.

$4.50 left.

This morning I ate oatmeal at work and then spent $3.00 for lunch on a piece of pizza.

$1.50.  Not enough to buy another meal.

So I raided my food cabinet and found a can of soybeans and cooked them in stewed tomatoes.  It didn’t look like a lot of food, so I found some stale tortilla chips (too old to eat) and put them in the pot thinking I’d get free calories out of them.

Tomorrow is my last day in self-imposed poverty.  I think I can get through with my left-overs, by eating some more oatmeal at work, and maybe buying a bagel or something.