Making the world a better place, one wink at a time

Today I learned a lot from my friend Mike about how to be a better person, and I’d like to share the lesson so that you can also become a better person.

It was a warm, sunny day.

We were crusing around on Union Street, ogling the many beautiful and scantily clad women.

Mike decided to teach me a lesson in generosity and charity.

“It’s nice to give the fatties a wink once in a while, you know, to make them feel good, like they’re actually in the game.”

What a thoughtful and endearing concept. I was really quite moved. How selfish of me to only give positive affirmation to beautiful women.

Mike then proceeded to demonstrate this altruistic technique.

“Hey baby,” he said with a wink as we passed a woman who must have weighed at least 185 pounds.

The delightful look on her face as she realized that she was being objectified brought so much joy to our hearts.

We all know that society has defined beauty as being thin and having large breasts.

And while it’s hard not to agree with society’s logical conclusion, life can be hard for women who don’t go to the gym or get boob jobs.

I am grateful to Mike for enlightening me to the idea of objectifying all women. I hope this post enables you to be a better person, too.

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